Tom Hanks Needs to Know

Tom Hanks claims that the War against Japan was due to "racism".

He is correct.

Except it was JAPANESE racism that was at the heart of it.

The belief in the deity of the Emperor, and the superiority of the Japanese Race that gave them divine right to rule over all the lesser folk of Asia. This belief was fully demonstrated in China, The Philippines and else where with local populations either exterminated for fun by bayonet and sword, or used as slave labour.

Western liberals may feel bad about the Atomic bombs but many Asians feel we didn't drop enough of them on the Japanese for what they did.

Creepy Robot Girl Causes Market Crash

Stock Markets around the world plummeted today as Japan Scientists displayed their life long dream creation - a robotic 5 year old girl. No explanation has been given as to why exactly the Japanese scientist would fashion their supposedly life-like human robot as a young girl.

"It's definitely that robot-girl" said one panicking imaginary investor. "Damn that thing is so creepy I had to sell everything I had at a loss."

This singular imaginary unconfirmed opinion contradicts earlier reports that the market drop was caused by ridiculous outfits from Pierre Cardin.